Friday, February 22, 2013

Good News - and Guilt

Had an odd experience at my annual heart check-up last week. This is the second one since my latest open-heart surgery, and I went into it looking forward to the tests and visit, and even wrote a blog post for ahead of the visit, anticipating good new.

I went in there to ace the tests, and I guess I did (although I'd hoped to improve on my pre-op VO2-max and that didn't happen.) I just didn't feel as good about everything as I expected, and I'm a bit guilty about that.

My heart is in great condition. The valve they put in two years ago looks good. There are no rhythm problems. I left with an appointment to come back in a year, and orders to keep up the good work. It was everything you want to hear.

But sitting there in the waiting room, watching other patients come and go, I could hear the "but" in that sentence. Or, more accurately, the "for now."

My heart is in great condition and the valve does look good and my rhythm is steady - for now. One of these visits it won't be.

I'm just going to hope - and expect - that I get the same kind of longevity out of my latest repair as I got out of the first one. And if they have to fix it again some day, so be it.

In the meantime, I have a meeting to take in a few minutes, then a snowy forest awaiting my morning run.

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