More TV Time Upcoming

Before I started writing useful stuff like how to check the air pressure in your tires for The Portable Dad, I wrote less useful stuff, like how to kill your whole family for a multi-million inheritance, for The Fresno Bee.

That particular triple-murder-for-hire case has been the subject of one TV documentary already, an episode of "Power, Privilege and Justice," and will be the subject of a new one airing Monday. (It's the new episode of the Discovery Investigations Channel show "Solved.")

I covered the case for six months and was interviewed on-camera for both shows. Haven't seen the new one yet, and if I look slightly bluish and my teeth chatter, it's because they filmed it one morning in early spring and it was maybe 40 degrees inside my office at the time!

Top Gear Septic Solutions & Philosophy Shop

If you've never watched the BBC show Top Gear, you're missing out. It's a car show, sort of, where they recently road-tested the new Ford Festiva by driving it in a shopping mall while being chased by baddies in black sedans. The hosts are frequently given challenges, like build a car that floats, or make a minivan into a convertible, which are then put to a series of tests.

I love it. In fact, I hope for wicked sales success for The Portable Dad so one day I can appear on the show and drive their reasonably priced car with The Stig. (He's the guy in the helmet.)

I mention all of this because the other day my septic tank stopped working.

When the tank gets to a certain level, two floats inside the thing are supposed to turn on the pump and push the water uphill to the leachfield, where it returns to the Earth. If the pump doesn't kick on, another float sets off an annoying alarm so you know to turn the pump on manually. The alarm float worked. One of the others wasn't.

Here's the Top Gear connection. The most common phrase on Top Gear, uttered every time they are given another crazy challenge, is, "How hard can it be?" And as a general approach to life, I think it's a good one. Assume it's not impossible, assume you can do it and see what happens. (Of course, in all fairness, I must also point out that the second-most-common phrase on Top Gear is, "That's not gone well," often accompanied by running. I've only head "I'm on fire" once or twice...)

Anyway, I know very little about electricity, but do know that a working switch should allow electricity to flow through it when it's set one way, and not flow through it when it's set the other. That and a continuity tester (and kneeling next to an open septic tank for a while...) showed me which if the floats was bad. Had to drive 45 minutes to the nearest place that carried new ones, then had the wiring put up a bit of a struggle reinstalling it. But it works, and no one caught fire and I saved at least $100 by not having to call out a plumber or septic service.

How hard can it be? If you're looking for a good approach to life, I highly recommend it.

Love the Sales Pairings

I think the best thing about having The Portable Dad for sale on Amazon.com is the "frequently bought with" and "other customers also bought" features. For a while, my book was frequently bought with Steve Harvey's new book, but now it's paired with the more logical How Your House Works.

For a couple of months, the recommendation Amazon gave through the "other customers" feature was Santa Claus 3: The Escape Claus. Now, I don't have anything against Tim Allen - who after all did star in a show called Home Improvement - but seriously folks, a little finesse in the algorithms goes a long way.

Today that's all changed. Other customers are now buying Muay Thai, jiu jitsu, and MMA training guides. Not sure what it means, but I like it!

Rather Than Buy a Truck, I Built a Trailer

One problem with driving the car that I do and liking projects as I do is that my car doesn't haul plywood worth a damn. I've been looking for a cheap truck for dump and lumberyard trips, but ended up buying a trailer kit instead.

It's small - 40 x 48 inches - and light enough to pull with my little BMW. I painted it to match the car, added black angle aluminum around the deck edges to keep water out and built the sides from heart redwood. (Haven't sealed or stained that yet.) The back is easily removed.

I'd say for about $300, it should prove pretty handy!

Parking Pad, Plus the Pic-i-nic Platform

Not sure what's going on with the alliteration, but it has to stop sometime. Soon. Supposedly.

Anyway, here's the new stuff. As you may remember, I started digging out parking area on the side of the garage back in early June because I it seemed like a better idea than going to the gym. Working most nights, I got eight inches of crushed gravel and hard-ass dirt dug out, then put four inches of rock back in and built forms. Then it sat around and waited for the budget to catch up to the work. Got the truck in today and with the help of Friend Dave and Diane, we got it poured.

There are, I will admit, some random neighbor dog prints in the concrete. It's the way of things. And Gus approves, which is key.

The dirt I dug out of the parking are was re-purposed into the pic-i-nic area. (I'm not sure why we're using the Yogi Bear pronunciation, but Diane and I both have been since it was built.) The rocks came from the yard (if you use an expansive view of "the yard" which includes the vacant lot next door!)

I think it came out nice.

Next up: Deck Expansion!

Stole My First Car Today

Well, I stole it back, anyway.

Gina's car got swiped at a park-n-fly in South San Francisco about a week ago, then found yesterday in San Bruno. I guess The Portable Dad thing (and The Portable Mom thing...) is literal because Diane and I drove in today to get the car. (And it's not just because we're nice - the car is in Diane's name and they would only release it to her.)

Anyway, stops at the SSF PD and San Bruno PD and then to the towing yard that hauled it. The guy said the ignition had been punched, which didn't surprise me too much. My plan, based on nothing more than wishful thinking, was that if the thieves could punch the ignition then start it with a screwdriver, then so could I. I brought a few tools.

The tow guy pulled the car out to the street, then we were on our own. The key didn't work. A screwdriver didn't work. A smaller screwdriver didn't work. One of the nice things about messing with something that's already seriously broken is that you don't really have to worry about breaking it more. So I tried a few more tools and hit on the magic combo - the car started right up.

Gina and Ben got it back home, where they will deal with real repairs later. (Or carry screwdrivers on their key rings - who can say?) Fortunately the damage wasn't much more extensive than that so the car should make a full recovery.

But What Will I Do With All My Time?

I don't understand people who worry about retirement or even put it off because they don't know what they'll do to fill their time.

I'm not judging said people, or criticizing them; I'm just a bit baffled by them.

The holiday weekend really brought it home. We had friends over for a barbecue on Friday and brought the two chairs from the front porch to the back and ended up with four chairs in the back in a circle. Our back deck is too small for that arrangement, so it can't be permanent. But when Diane and I both went out on Saturday morning, we noticed how nice that setting was. So the back deck will be expanded - not the full wrap-around-the-side-of-the-house-and-connect-to-the-side-deck master plan, but a 160-square foot addition will go up this summer and we will have four chairs in a circle in the back yard where we can sit with guests.

The dirt from the parking pad is being recycled into a flat, raised picnic area in the back, complete with rock wall. (The wall went up this weekend - rest should be finished next weekend...)

The toilet broke and needed fixing. The screen door needs replacing. The bedroom needs painting. The carpets need cleaning. The gift car is a battery-charge away from running (I hope!), but there's a lot of stuff it'll need before it's the dedicated autocross and track car I want it to be.

Basically, I realized that if I had unlimited time and money, I'd have no lack of stuff to keep me busy.

Chased Down the Highway and...

POW!

Somebody gave me a car.

Happened yesterday as I was driving my 1974 BMW home from working in Stockton. A white minivan that was pulled to the side of the highway honked as I went past, then apparently spent about 10 miles trying to catch up. (My car drives nice...)

At the stop sign in Farmington they finally got along side and the woman driving yelled that she wanted to talk to me about my car. It seemed pretty important to her, so we both pulled off.

Here husband George had a 1974 BMW 2002 since 1991 and loved it. Six weeks ago he turned into a stopped SUV and caved in the front corner. (And shortly thereafter ended up in the hospital.) It depressed him to see the hurt car, and even more to think of it being crushed or parted out.

Then they saw mine, which really does look pretty nice for still wearing its original paint. Long story short - they offered me the car. I took them a copy of The Portable Dad and a nice bottle of Chianti this afternoon and followed a tow truck home with my second tan BMW 2002.

Daisy and George, thanks. You're a class act and I will get the car back on the road...